It’s finally come! The Pancake Feed that we have been planning for about 2 months now, is finally this Saturday, April 23 (read all the way to the bottom for more info)! We originially had it scheduled for the first Saturday in April, but my mom wasn’t able to come help and believe me, if you know my mom you’ll understand, but if you don’t I’ll tell ya, you want her on your team! She’s a huge asset when it comes to helping in any way she can. She’s the one person I’ve never had a hard time with asking for help. Other than that, asking for help is something that I’ve always struggled with. Which brings me to our adoption fundraiser. Unless you have thousands and thousands of dollars laying around, I’ve found that asking for others help is a necessity when it comes to affording an adoption. I’m not saying we are poor. We have, unfortunately not been able to save as much money as we’d like.
Our daughter is getting to the age where we want another child soon so they don’t have a huge age gap. We have decided that rather than bringing another child into the world, why not adopt a child that is already here and NEEDS a loving and supportive home? There are over 143 MILLION children who are orphaned. These children typically suffer from various types of trauma and most of the time it starts in the womb. It’s a tragedy that this happens to so many children! And it’s unfortunate that the cost is one reason it drives so many people away. We were originally going to do a Second Chance adoption, because these kids are in high need of a family. After talking with our social worker with Bethany Adoption services, we decided this wasn’t the safest option for our daughter.
It has always been my dream to adopt a child. Since I was a little kid myself, I was determined that when I got older, I was going to give a child in need what I always had – a loving and supportive family. Yes, our family wasn’t perfect. My parents got divorced when I was 6 and it was a very hard and difficult time, but I still had a family. A group of people who I was and still am, very close with and I couldn’t imagine how awful it would be to not have them in my life.
And now, we are finally on this journey of adoption. We are now going through the China program. This program is another area in high need for adoptive parents, plus it will allow us to keep birth order and decrease safety concerns with our biological child. For the China program, we are looking at spending around $25,000-$35,000, plus we will need to make a 2 week trip to China prior to picking up our new baby. Thankfully, my husband has paid time off accruing, but with my PRN position, I will not have this benefit. Then, when we get home, we will need to take time off for bonding with our child, similar to when we brought home my daughter after her birth.
Needless to say, we need help. And I have had to put my ego aside and really ASK. It hasn’t been easy and it has been a lot of work. Calling different people, sending out letters, driving around handing out fliers and asking for help. Planning everything out and losing sleep because I am tring to make sure I haven’t forgot something, asking friends and family to donating their time or making things for the benefit we are working on. But it alwasy comes back to the child, our child. The beautiful baby we haven’t met yet. Our child who is crying out their needs and most of the time their needs aren’t being met. Remembering this has reallygiven me the strength to ask for help. Knowing that every person I ask might bring our child home to us sooner, drives me to calm my fear of asking for help.
I have had comments from people about how if we have to go “hat in hand to pay for our adoption, maybe we should wait until we can afford it.” This makes me feel both sad and upset, because we aren’t forcing anyone to do anything to help us. We are respectfully asking for any one who is willing to either donate their time, or help us in monetary ways. If you feel that is’nt true, please let me know. Plus, if we decided to have another biological child we would be able to use our insurance and it would be exponentially less expensive than to adopt.
The problems that come from having so many orphans are not just felt by a handful of people, it ripples across the world. These children are forced to adapt to their surroundings by stealing, cheating, lying, and in some cases killing to survive. Could you imagine what the world would be like if every single child grew up knowing they were loved and wanted and appreciated and trusted and heard? When they aren’t, this effects every single person, whether you like to believe it or not. When a child grows up unwanted or unloved and their needs are not being met, this effects the whole world. The saying, “It takes a village” is close, but I like to think of it even bigger and say “It takes the world.” We are all connected and one. I believe if we all took care of each other, than we wouldn’t have the problems we do in the world. We all want the same thing, ultimately, so why not help us all get there?
The community that I live in has been SOOOO supportive!! We have been blessed to get donations from various businesses around town and are so thankful for the love we’ve been shown from complete strangers! The donations we’ve gotten on our GoFundMe site has mostly been donations from people I either don’t know or barely know, with one exception (one of my great friends). The Fairmont Diner donated a gallon of syrup, the Millstone gave us two $15 gift certificates to raffle off, Main Street Market gave us $10, The Breadroot Co-op is donating bananas and napkins, Staple and Spice a gift bag full of goodies, and She’s Nuts donated 3 jars of her almond butters! We have had a couple of more businesses donate as well and we are just so grateful! I’m so excited to see the other members of the community who join in our festivities and our adoption journey! I hope you can make it too!
Would you like to join in on our adoption journey? Jump out of bed and come to PJ’s and Pancakes (Gluten-free pancakes available upon request)this Saturday, April 23 from 7-1pm at On Common Ground – 610 St Francis Street, Rapid City. We are having face painting for the kids from 9-11, a bake walk, and music. Plus, my husband has made some awesome bottle openers and coasters. We’ll have other hand made items, like my homemade beauty products, and yard yatzee dice. Suggested donations for the pancake breakfast $10/single or $30/family.