Control… or lack their of

Why as parents, do we think we can control our children?

Society, expectations, fear, convenience? Well, let me tell you, the biggest mistake I’ve made (and still make at times), is trying to get my child to do something I want them to do. Typically, it is this case when we are expected to be somewhere or expected to behave a certain way. Well, if you are a parent, or are expecting, the biggest advice that I can give to you is to let go of expectations and let go of control. Our children aren’t ours to control and every time that we try to control them, it breaks their spirit and purpose for being here. Now, I’m not saying we should just let our children run willy-nilly. They do need guidance and we are here to help guide them on their own path, not ours.

I’m slowly learning that children are here to help us heal from limiting beliefs that were instilled in us when we were young. At the ages of 2-6, our brains are like a sponge, soaking up all of the information and ideas around us without a filter. Don’t think you can just say anything around a kiddo during this highly perceptive age. This stage in life is so impactful and important for a child!! A limiting belief can come from something that may seem insignificant to you. For example, how many times do adults talk about a lack of money in their lives? Then, how often do adults feel like they are lacking in the money department when they grow up? I don’t know about you, but I used to hear about this a lot when I grew up and guess what, I had a limiting belief about not having enough money. Also, think of unworthiness, not smart enough, not pretty enough, etc. There’s GREAT article explaining this better here.

So every day, I’m trying to give up more and more control of others, especially my children to help instill in their confidence and worth and purpose. I’m the only person I can control and when you really get that, wowzah! Things start to become more and more incredible! First, let me tell you, that my parenting isn’t perfect (no one’s is) and I have a lot to learn still. Second, before I gifted myself the wisdom of Dr. Shefali’s course, I had too many expectations for my family. I believed that I had to get my 4 year old daughter to start cleaning up her things all by herself or she wouldn’t learn responsibility. If her toys weren’t picked up before bed we would take them away for a while or threaten to donate them to kids who would take care of them (SMH). Teaching consequences, right? Well, that backfired and instead of teaching her consequences, we created an angry and hurt kiddo. I told my daughter I had made a mistake with her cleaning up her own messes and from now on instead of fighting for her to clean up, we told her we would help her when she needs. Night time ensued and we reminded my daughter it was time to clean up her things and put them in her playroom. She asked for help and I told her I would definitely help her. Now, when I have something I need to pick up, she gladly helps me without even asking her for help! This morning, when I brushed her hair and sprayed it with a bit of water, she offered to help me clean the mirror. I was so happy that she had offered! I thanked her and was beaming. Before, when we were fighting her, her father or I would ask for help and she would say, “No, that’s not my mess/stuff.” That, to me, doesn’t instill confidence that my sweet daughter will be a humanitarian when she grows up (and if she isn’t that’s okay, letting it go). I want her to feel proud about helping others when they’re in need. I think we are on the right track. Who knew this parenting thing could get so hard? ha!

When we let go of what expectations we have for our children, things just work more efficiently. Children (all of us) were put on this Earth because they have a purpose. Let’s not squander it for them!

You deserve happiness

I wrote a few weeks back about a new course I was gifting myself to heal from my past and to grow into the person I truly am. It’s crazy that in our day in age, the majority of us don’t really know ourselves and what we want to do with our lives. With mainstream media and culture we are so bashed down to conformity that we lose sight of our true being and desires. Rather we spend too much time and money focused on external “things” we don’t really need or want and we really aren’t happy because we aren’t being authentic.

Well, I can already tell you that after just 2 sessions of Dr. Shefali’s Year of Manifestation, I’m waking up like never before. In the past dabbled in meditation randomly and journaled here and there but it’s been a full week with meditation and I just started journaling last night and will do so after meditating each day. The thing that’s really helped me meditate is an app called Insight Timer. It has different bells and sounds and you can see who you meditated with around the world.

If you haven’t had success with meditating or you just want to try something new, I recommend this free app. IMG_1368

Also, if you are truly wanting happiness I highly recommend taking Dr. Shefali’s course(s). She’s an amazing teacher and I have 50 weeks more to learn from her.

Well, until next time, love yourself! You deserve health, happiness, and abundance!!

What a disappointment…

Yesterday morning, I woke up and I had a message from my mom. She sent me a link for a job opening looking for health and wellness coaches. I have tried to do my own business with this and I haven’t had much luck, so when I saw that a company was looking to hire a health coach I applied right away. Shortly after, I received a message asking when would be a good time to chat. At 8pm, I was supposed to have a conversation with someone from the company and at 710pm I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize and figured I had put down 8pm but for another time zone. 7 is usually around the time when we put my oldest kiddo to sleep so I checked with my husband and he told me to take the call.

It was a two way call with a woman and a man and they told me how the past 20 years they’ve been working with a company to help people lose weight and decrease their risk of health issues with great success. They teach coaches how to do one on one and group coaching classes and they boasted how they have seen people lose a lot of weight throughout their coaching experiences. I was so excited that a company, backed by UCLA, was looking out and helping people live healthier lives. The woman I was on the phone with said that she lives in the same town as I do, and when she returned from her trip from Canada, she could meet up with me to show me the ropes.

I was so excited! I am so passionate about helping people feel great and live abundantly! I just needed help marketing myself and here is a company with 20 years of experience to help me help others. After the 15-20 minute call I received a promotional video and was slowly disappointed when I found out that this was a MLM company. I don’t have a problem with these types of company’s, however, I wanted to know what was in their “Kool-Aid.” I found their website, and was horrified at the ingredients listed! This wasn’t healthy! Yes, people may lose weight, however, it ISN’T healthy!! Just because a person is skinny, doesn’t mean they are thriving.

After I discovered this, I messaged the lady back telling her that I looked at the ingredients and wasn’t comfortable selling people things that I wouldn’t myself take and that I was shocked at the ingredients. She went on to tell me in a very unorganized and with horrible grammar (I’m not the greatest at grammar, but this was hard to read) that it’s “No worse than junk food.” Wow! that’s a horrible comparison. I took a screen shot from my phone to show the conversation. Sorry if it’s a little difficult to read…

Now, I get that people want to help each other obtain health, but feeding them lies and garbage doesn’t help attain health. We are in a pandemic of obesity, which creates so many other health problems. I didn’t want to write about this company, Herbalife, to throw them under the bus because of that, however, I am throwing them under the bus because WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT just because a product is backed by a college, even a prestigious or not, we need to use the knowledge of what we know by researching what we are putting in our bodies. Here are some easy rules to follow.

How to Eat Cleaner:

-READ labels

  • Try to purchase items that only have 5 or less ingredients
  • If you can’t pronounce an ingredient PUT IT BACK on the shelf
  • Opt for organic and look for non-GMO project logo if you buy anything packaged, especially if it has corn, soy, sugar, and dairy
  • Avoid anything that has any type of sugar in the first few ingredients or if it contains more than 15g of sugar (key is to stay as low as possible but not go over 25g per day)
  • Buy as much fresh foods rather than packaged foods
  • If you are looking for a company to help you lose weight by using a cleanse or shakes, I recommend Purium. This company owns their own farms and they are Organic certified (this is an MLM run company, FYI- I receive no kickbacks from them)

    If you need further help feeling more alive and vibrant, please let me know! I’d love to help!

Resources:
https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/summary.php#.WlfV-cuWyxA

The Year of Inner Healing and Growth

Happy New Year to everyone!! My New Year resolution has never been bigger or more important than the one I am doing in 2018. Let me explain…Ever since I can remember, I have had issues with anxiety, depression and anger. I was always the emotional kid. When I left my mom to visit my dad I was a wreck and when I left my dad to return to my mom I was a wreck. My relationships were always difficult because I wanted control and yet I didn’t have to voice to speak my needs. I have been through counselors and therapists off and on since I was 16. During a very dark time with my depression in college, I even went on different anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. I remember being in my apartment, with my now husband, and just crying for days randomly while he held me and feeling scared and frustrated because I didn’t know why I was so sad. 

As much as I hate chemical medications, well chemicals in general really, I knew I needed something to help quick. After college I was able to go off the medications but I still struggle, albeit a lot less than previously. I get pissed about something that my husband did, yet somehow manage to appreciate all he does. I have gotten better about this more recently, however, children are amazing at helping us heal our inner garbage. They test our boundaries and bring out unhealed things from our past- having a spirited four year old only increases this, as well. 

With that, I bring you healing! I confided in a mentor and friend of mine who had some similar issues as mine. She has tried seeking healing from counselors for a long time too. She told me, if you don’t have a break through within 3 sessions with a therapist, you need to move on. Well I’m movin’ on! Nothing really drastically changed for her until she took a course from an amazing woman named Dr. Shefali Tsabary. Every time that I see my mentor/friend talk about how amazing she feels and how much it has helped with her family, I get so excited to take Dr. Shefali’s new course “The Year of Manifestation,” which starts next week!

If you are ready to make break through healing with me, sign up! It’s cheaper than seeing a counselor or therapist and sounds way more worth it! Plus, remember that YOU are worth it! Each month Dr. Shefali, along with other guest speakers, will be delving in on topics like “breaking free and breaking out, the end of conflict, intimacy, sexuality, and marriage, flow and authenticity, money, giving and financial abundance, and much, much more! These classes are every Tuesday at 8pm CST with an option of adding on meditation on Thursdays at the same time for 12 months! All classes are live (unless you’re unable to attend and you get the recording shortly after).

Please, love yourself to know that you deserve to be happy, healthy and abundant!!

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