The great and powerful mind

I just watched another documentary, and I gotta say this is by far the best and most useful one that I’ve seen. It’s on Netflix and it’s called “Heal.” Basically, it’s powerful and empowering message is that we are the person creating our own disease and illness. How? By ignoring the soooo important mind-body connection to creating our most vibrant, healthy selves. Positivity has a tonic effect to the body, while negativity creates toxins in the body, which lead to illness and disease. Not all of it is our fault since childhood trauma is subconscious (so you don’t even know that you’re suffering from past memories) stress on your body along with the every day stresses that need to be dealt with in a healthy manner, as well. Think about how bombarded we are when watching the news or work drama or family issues.

I gotta say, this was so impactful that my husband actually admitted that he needed to start meditating! He’s a long time sufferer of migraines and more recently seen that some of his kidney and heart labs have come back abnormal and wants this to change. I’m super proud of his commitment to living a healthier life. His diet has been a lot better since we first started dating and when he did the elimination diet a few months back we both noticed his migraines basically went away when he followed the diet (he had tiny, short lived headaches a few times) and then the holidays had him back to the sugar, caffeine (which he has cut again) and other offenders that he is still testing out.

I know that I have subconscious trauma (we all do, not just severe trauma, but even being teased at school once) that I know I have to heal since watching the documentary; I am not messing around with this anymore. I’m seeing my chiropractor in two days and wanting to do NET and then I also would like to see another provider in town to help me release some of these memories as well. I have noticed a huge change in my mood and health after cleaning up my diet, however, I still have some anger and anxiety at times and I get so frustrated when my family gets the brunt of it. I’ve also, started listening to Pareting from the Inside Out by Daniel Seigel and I am doing exercises to heal too. Niki Gratrix, a specialist who helps people heal their past traumas. She recommends doing a daily reset ritual for 20 minutes, two times a day. Check out this great video with her wisdom.

Other ways to heal your past trauma: Meditate, journal, yoga, being in nature, laughing, dancing, being around other positive people, talk to someone, working with healers.

The mind is so powerful it can either hurt you, or heal you. What do you choose? Do you have a daily ritual that you use to heal your temple? If so, what are your favorites?

My sweet, little Valentine

I’ve never really been huge into celebrating Valentine’s day. I don’t know if this is because I was never really dating anyone during this time of year when I was younger and when I was dating it just wasn’t a really big deal. Maybe it was when I first started dating my now husband but after that we never really made it a big deal.

Since my daughter is in pre-school, I think every little tiny hint of a holiday calls for a big ordeal. I’m not sure how to handle this sometimes. On one hand, I want her to have a fun experience and I don’t mind at all if they do something at school, but having to do big things for every event can be exhausting. More recently, I have decided to cut out or drastically decrease the candy when we do something at home- for the most part. Honestly, for Halloween and for this last Valentines day, we bought a little bit of organic candy so she wasn’t really left out because I am not okay with giving her the candy with all of the dyes and other chemicals.

What does get me excited for these little holiday’s is her giving spirit. I got at least 4 different handmade cards and so did most of all of her other family members in our home. This year, she decided she wanted to buy a chocolate for each of her classmates at our local co-op and two for her teacher. She also bought a small bag of candy’s similar to starbursts that she tried sharing with her family, but no one wanted the sugar laden fruit chews. She was so proud to buy them and share them with her class! She has such a giving personality and at times she wishes she could keep getting as much as she gives. Her love of sharing and giving really melts my heart. Her teacher has also boasted about her big heart and it’s something that I’m so proud of. We try so hard to make sure she’s grateful and giving and at times it’s hard for her but for the most part she is doing great-especially for her age! So my shout out for this week goes to my sweet Valentine, my beautiful spirit of a daughter and my smart, determined leader.

Every day has it’s challenges but I know that what we are doing to support her is the right thing although some worry or don’t understand. It’s not their job to understand or worry. It’s not my responsibility to worry about what others find acceptable or unacceptable with my parenting style (unless there is abuse going on, then okay I understand and expect people around would do or say something). Instead, we have a more mindful, respectful approach because we want our kids to be strong and healthy in all aspects of their lives and though we are never perfect we are doing better than our parents did and really that’s the main thing, right? (no offense to my parents… you are amazing and I love you)

Last night, my daughter got a Valentine’s day gift from our next door neighbor during dinner and when she realized that she wouldn’t be able to eat the treat she had a meltdown. All I wanted to do was eat our dinner so my husband and I could leave for our date shortly after, but instead I picked her up and brought her in my bedroom so everyone else could enjoy their meals but most importantly so she could be supported through her feelings. We sat there for about 5-10 minutes and she spoke about her feelings in between sobbing and I just told her that I understood by saying “I know” and sometimes just rubbing her back while she cried. It didn’t take long for her to calm down after this and then we got to talk about why we parent the way we do and responding to her feelings and before we left my room she told me that I was the best mom ever and that she was sorry. I told her there was nothing to be sorry for and that I am honored that she can feel so comfortable with me to express her feelings in this way.

Nothing better than handmade, handwritten gifts from my favorite girl!

Nerd Alert

When I first saw my husband I pegged him for a lady’s man, jock type because of the way he looked- jeans, a BHSU hoodie, and gelled hair, super sexy but not my type. Man, I was wrong…Then, I actually had a conversation with him and was proven wrong regarding first impressions. He was sitting in my friends dorm room constructing a leprechaun out of fimo clay, which he ended up giving me after he was finished. Shortly after talking more, we became friends and I realized he was a little bit nerdy, which I liked. I’ve definitely been able to see the appeal of things I used to see as super geeky, once I give them a try and he has definitely turned me to the “dark-side” when it comes to nerdiness. I started watching shows like Firefly and Dr. Who, I began reading comics and finally, the cherry on top of all geeky activities: The infamous tabletop roll-playing game known as DnD (dungeons and dragons).

My husband just started playing about 6 months ago for the first time. This was something he has expressed wanting to do for a few years, at least, and he’d always tell me about his night when he got home from his game (usually the next day because I typically go to bed early). I asked him why he likes DnD and he said, “I like the fact I get to nerd with fellow nerds. I like the ability to use creativity and critical thinking to shape a story through my decisions I make for my character, all while joking and having a good time with a group of friends.”

After a few months of this, it sounded really fun so I told him I’d be interested in watching a game some night if we could find a sitter. Then his group disbanded and another group began being made and he finally convinced me to just try it. I figured I’d humor him and told him I’d go to one game to check it out. I made it clear if it didn’t turn out to be something I wouldn’t commit to I’d let him know after the first session. My husband helped me pick a dwarven character who I randomly named Arrmun Fireforge. He taught me some of the lingo and other necessities and reminded me that the group is really great at helping each other learn.

Even though I warned him not to hold his breath on me returning to any subsequent nights, I was nervous that I’d be letting someone, or the group, down.

Last Wednesday we met for the first night of this new campaign and I had so much fun! We didn’t get super far but the story is very intriguing so far and I’m super excited to go again. It reminds me of those books I used to love from the 90’s, build your own story, except with a lot more imagination. I think every adult could get some benefit to this type of creativity. I agree with my husband, not only is DnD great for being creative, but it’s also a great way to meet other people and get out of your comfort zone.

So, this is me, Tarin the proud nerd! What are some of your nerdy pleasures?

Who are you grateful for?

Having gratitude is something we could all pay more attention to. In honor of this, I will be writing about the special people in my life who I’m grateful for and why. This post is speaking about the one and only woman who brought me to this planet. She’s one of the best roommates and has been such a great blessing in my house!!

She started motherhood at the young age of 14 by helping raise my step-sisters. She lost her first baby shortly after that. Four years later she gave birth to me and almost exactly another four years she gave birth to my first brother. When I was 14 my last baby brother was born.

Motherhood was something she was always proud of. When I got pregnant she was prepared to honor her role as a grammy and couldn’t wait to pass down her favorite traditions she picked up from her grandma.

Since living with us, more recently, my husband and I have been able to take weekly dates and she has been more than willing to watch them more! If something comes up she eagerly volunteers to hangout with the kids and help with daily activities like picking up my daughter from preschool and bath time routines and more.

I can’t thank her enough and pray we never take advantage of her and I repeatedly remind her she is allowed to say no if she needs her own time. To this she always replies, “I love being around my grand babies!”

Not only does she help with the kids, but she helps with laundry, cleaning and pitching in on groceries and cooks, as well. I have such an amazing mom and I am so grateful and blessed to have her in my home. On top of that, she’s super fun to be around and is so caring. I love you mama!!