I’ve never really been huge into celebrating Valentine’s day. I don’t know if this is because I was never really dating anyone during this time of year when I was younger and when I was dating it just wasn’t a really big deal. Maybe it was when I first started dating my now husband but after that we never really made it a big deal.
Since my daughter is in pre-school, I think every little tiny hint of a holiday calls for a big ordeal. I’m not sure how to handle this sometimes. On one hand, I want her to have a fun experience and I don’t mind at all if they do something at school, but having to do big things for every event can be exhausting. More recently, I have decided to cut out or drastically decrease the candy when we do something at home- for the most part. Honestly, for Halloween and for this last Valentines day, we bought a little bit of organic candy so she wasn’t really left out because I am not okay with giving her the candy with all of the dyes and other chemicals.
What does get me excited for these little holiday’s is her giving spirit. I got at least 4 different handmade cards and so did most of all of her other family members in our home. This year, she decided she wanted to buy a chocolate for each of her classmates at our local co-op and two for her teacher. She also bought a small bag of candy’s similar to starbursts that she tried sharing with her family, but no one wanted the sugar laden fruit chews. She was so proud to buy them and share them with her class! She has such a giving personality and at times she wishes she could keep getting as much as she gives. Her love of sharing and giving really melts my heart. Her teacher has also boasted about her big heart and it’s something that I’m so proud of. We try so hard to make sure she’s grateful and giving and at times it’s hard for her but for the most part she is doing great-especially for her age! So my shout out for this week goes to my sweet Valentine, my beautiful spirit of a daughter and my smart, determined leader.
Every day has it’s challenges but I know that what we are doing to support her is the right thing although some worry or don’t understand. It’s not their job to understand or worry. It’s not my responsibility to worry about what others find acceptable or unacceptable with my parenting style (unless there is abuse going on, then okay I understand and expect people around would do or say something). Instead, we have a more mindful, respectful approach because we want our kids to be strong and healthy in all aspects of their lives and though we are never perfect we are doing better than our parents did and really that’s the main thing, right? (no offense to my parents… you are amazing and I love you)
Last night, my daughter got a Valentine’s day gift from our next door neighbor during dinner and when she realized that she wouldn’t be able to eat the treat she had a meltdown. All I wanted to do was eat our dinner so my husband and I could leave for our date shortly after, but instead I picked her up and brought her in my bedroom so everyone else could enjoy their meals but most importantly so she could be supported through her feelings. We sat there for about 5-10 minutes and she spoke about her feelings in between sobbing and I just told her that I understood by saying “I know” and sometimes just rubbing her back while she cried. It didn’t take long for her to calm down after this and then we got to talk about why we parent the way we do and responding to her feelings and before we left my room she told me that I was the best mom ever and that she was sorry. I told her there was nothing to be sorry for and that I am honored that she can feel so comfortable with me to express her feelings in this way.